Self-care is everywhere these days, it's on every second inspo and social media meme. It's popularity is growing particularly among women who have been bred to ignore themselves and their needs to take care of everyone else. In my own case, midlife jolted me into taking better care of myself before I got a chronic illness.
Much of the wellness world depends on the the notion that we don't look after ourselves. Many of us don't, so this is correct. Wellness and self-care can conjure up images of hot baths, candles, retreats and massages.
I don't have children, but I have tended to care for and about others in my life instead of myself ever since I can remember. If I'm brutally honest, it has often been borne out of a need for validation or attention, even a form of escape from myself if you will - a bit like leaving home.
In midlife, my idea of self-care has changed greatly. It means taking care of my own affairs and minding my own business i.e. health, finances, home life and other pursuits on my own and with my husband and loved ones. It also means giving others the freedom to get on with their own business too, without interfering and helping only if asked. Goodbye God complex.
This fresher outlook has freed up so much space in my heart for my relationships and home life and in my mind so that I can read more, write more, study more (I'm an eternal nerd), listen to and create more podcasts and enjoy more music.
More importantly, this approach removes the 'martyr' and 'victim' thinking that in the past had me feeling like I constantly needed something or even more so - someone, to make me feel better because I'm so good to everyone. I'm know I'm not alone here :) Hence, feeling 'grand' most of the time, no dramas, no big deals - just life and a lovely regular yoga class.
Til next time.
In association with La Femme Verte skincare, to support women in their transformative stage of peri through to post menopausal, and beyond.